I don’t care for resolutions. It’s so “do or do not, there is no try.” And though I appreciate the intention behind this statement, I don’t think it sets people up for success. I believe a philosophy from yoga is better suited for helping one succeed. I love how yoga guides me into a mindset of stillness and acceptance. A common meditation in yoga is that we are imperfect and we know it, and that's okay! We know we are going to lose our balance, we know that some things are going to stretch us further than we are comfortable with. But fail or not, yoga encourages us to listen to our bodies, minds, and spirits. This is how I want approach 2022. Instead of forcing myself into an unrealistic shape (continuing on the yoga analogy), I want to be aware of where my current abilities lie.
I would consider myself an ambitious person. I am filled with passions and dreams that I want to work towards. But I am a rather inconsistent, easily discouraged individual. For instance, I have been trying for two years to start this blog. Once a week at least I’ve had a forehead-slap moment where I am reminded that I have yet to publish the first post. And with that "resolution attitude" in mind, it would be easy to see myself as a failure in this area. But let's look at this holistically, listening to each part of my life from the past two years.
2020 of course did a number on all of our lives, and like most others, many of my dreams and goals were crushed when the pandemic hit. My educational art trip to Italy was cancelled. All of my friends left because our college had an emergency shut down. After four years of stress, malnutrition, sacrifice, and all-nighters, I graduated in sweatpants sitting at a folding table. All my plans for my career took a two-year pause because I had to get a nine-to-five to pay the bills. And again, as many others, this series of heartbreaks left me nearly crippled with depression and anxiety.
But I must say, despite these upsets or frustrations, this is not a sad story. In the past two years I have set the intention to have grace with myself. I have learned how to better listen to my instincts and my needs instead of beating myself up and quitting when I “fail.”
So today, I am setting the intention to start my art blog. I have great dreams for this blog. I want to pour my heart and soul onto these virtual pages, in order to express myself and share my love of art with others. Sure, there will be weeks when I fall short of my own expectations. There will be days when the creative well is dry. There will be times when I have not made enough artwork to even justify a blog post. So, I will also set the intention to love myself through those times, to sit in the frustrations instead of wishing it away, and to listen to what my body and mind are trying to communicate.
I make art and I write because I think life, even when painful, is worth celebrating. I welcome you to join me as I learn more about myself and my artwork, and I hope to encourage you along your creative path as well. Blessings to you all, and may this New Year be filled with growth, love, and - however you choose to define it- success.
01.02.2022
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